Master of my Own Domian.

I find myself wondering things that I know aren’t right for me to think.
I find myself fighting dreams that I know I shouldn’t dream.
I find myself thinking thoughts I shouldn’t think.
I find myself having feeling that I should not feel.
All I wish I could do is run and hide away from you.
But, alas I cannot for fear of destroying everything I touch.
I try to hold onto whatever sanity I have left, but the meter is running out.
I guess I need to put more coins in the slot, to keep from the loony bin..
I still don’t know how I can put myself through this intense flame.
Finding feelings that I thought were chased away by ice, seem to simmer to the surface and burn through me.
I run and cannot hide from them, they bombard me with endless torment.
But what am I to do, they say the heart feels what the heart feels!
If my heart won’t stop these foolish feelings
Then it needs to be carved out and put on the shelf were it belongs until the day that I can truly be the master of my own domain.

Falling up and hitting the sky!

You glare at me
With a hand over the bottle
The bourbon used to gently burn
It’s way to my heart
Time pierces my mind
Wondering where we went wrong
You begin to pace back and forth
Caged animals are we
People staring at us through the glass
You stand back akimbo
The glare became furious
Tracing the glass with angry fingers
I brace myself for your bombardment
Nothing comes just more silence
We stare at each other
You start to move luscious lips
They stop and a straight line reappears
Following our glance
I see the little blue box marked Tiffany’s
On the table next to me
Tears fill my eyes
And I know
All you want is me
To testify

This is an old poem that fits right where I feel I'm at right now. Do I testify to someone that I have a problem or do I just ignore everything? I'm just really confused at the moment.

Back on the plain of suck

Hello, I hate being on this planet right now, It’s too complicated for me. I can’t seem to get anything right and at the moment I think everything would be better if I wasn’t part of it anymore. But, I am not suicidal, I’m just tired of all the shit that gets dumped on my lap and when it gets too much for me, I freak out and say things I don’t mean, but I guess that doesn’t matter because I’m a complete bitch and no one seems to care about how I feel.